No. 1667: King Rehoboam, Solomon's son, was "high in his own eyes" and did not care about being so!

No. 1667:

King Rehoboam, Solomon's son, was "high in his own eyes" and did not care about being so!

http://the-heavenly-blog.janchristensen.net/2026/03/no-1666-king-davids-mistake-and.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZZfeshJL6Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ai60mmg2mk

Illustrative image of King Rehoboam, Solomon's son.
As he might have looked.
It is almost 3000 years since he lived, so this is only an illustrative image.

 

2 Chron. 10. 1 Rehoboam went to Shechem; for all Israel had come to Shechem to make him king. 1 Kings 12,1-20
2 When Jeroboam, Nebat's son, heard it (he was then in Egypt, where he had fled from King Solomon), he returned from Egypt. 1 Kings 11,40
3 And they sent for him; Then Jeroboam and all Israel came and spoke to Rehoboam, saying,
4 Your father made our yoke heavy; but now make the grievous service and the heavy yoke that your father put on us lighter, and we will serve you.
5 He said to them, “Depart for three days, and then come to me.” So the people departed.
6 Then King Rehoboam consulted the old men who had stood before Solomon his father while he was still alive, saying, “What advice do you give me that I may return answer to this people?”
7 They answered him, “If you will be kind to this people and show them kindness and good words, they will be your servants forever.”
8 But he forsook the advice that the old men had given him, but consulted the young men who had grown up with him and who stood before him.
9 He asked them, “What advice do you give us that we may answer this people who have said to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us?’”
10 The young men who had grown up with him answered him, “Thus you shall say to this people who have spoken to you, ‘Your father made our yoke heavy, but make it lighter for us,’ thus you shall say to them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s loins.’
11 Now whereas my father made your yoke heavy, I will add to your yoke; my father chastised you with whips, I will chastise you with scorpions.”
12 So Jeroboam and all the people came to Rehoboam on the third day, as the king had said, ‘Come back to me in three days.’
13 The king answered them harshly. King Rehoboam did not listen to the advice of the old men.
14 But he answered them as the young men had advised, saying, “My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add to it; my father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with scorpions.”
15 But the king did not listen to the people; for it was a turn of events from God, that the word of the Lord might be fulfilled, which he spoke to Jeroboam the son of Nebat by the hand of Ahijah the Shilonite. 1 Kings 11:29-31
16 When all Israel saw that the king did not listen to them, the people answered the king, saying, “What portion have we in David? We have no portion in the son of Jesse. Every man to your tents, O Israel! Now therefore, David, see to your own house.” So all Israel returned to their tents. 2 Samuel 20:1
17 But as for the children of Israel who dwelt in the cities of Judah, Rehoboam reigned over them.
18 Then King Rehoboam sent Hadoram, who was in charge of the forced labor, but the children of Israel stoned him, so that he died, and King Rehoboam himself had to quickly get up into his chariot and flee to Jerusalem.
19 Thus Israel fell from the house of David, and so it has been to this day.

Here we meet Solomon's son and heir, King David's grandson!

Solomon reigned for 40 years, so this is only 40 years after King David's death.
In many ways, Israel's heyday was relatively short.
When David reigned in Jerusalem for 33 years, before that 7 years in Hebron.

Solomon for 40 years.
After this, the kingdom was divided, into a North and a South kingdom.
It is in this event that is mentioned here in 2 Chronicles and in 1 Kings from chapters 12 to 14.
Rehoboam is mostly mentioned in 2 Chronicles 10 to 12.

The conditions for Rehoboam were very good despite his Father's sins and in many ways disobedience to the Lord and His word.
Even with relatively good conditions, it is not a given that things will go well.
Every day and every occasion is an opportunity to either succeed or fail.
It is not automatic, one needs God's grace, help and guidance all the way to succeed.
Start taking things for granted, and here like Rehoboam who was "high in himself", and did not care about the danger of being so!

Rehoboam was put to an election, where he could go two ways!

The choices were actually very simple, but at the time decisive.
Should he listen to the older men, or to the younger men with whom he had grown up?

We read the following:
“Your father made our yoke heavy; but now lighten the harsh service and the heavy yoke that your father put on us, and we will serve you.”

Taxes and the burden of taxes under his Father, Solomon.
It had become very demanding for the common people.
Then the choice was for Rehoboam whether to continue it, or to reduce it.
Here the King was to consult with his people, for three days.
Then they would get an answer.

As I said, there were two options.

Make the yoke, the tax requirements and what the people were to give back to the King.
Either lighter or heavier.
Where the older men were just as clear in their recommendation as the younger men were.

We read:
“King Rehoboam did not listen to the advice of the older men, but answered them as the young men had advised: ‘If my father made your yoke heavy, I will make it "And it is even more difficult; if my father disciplined you with whips, I will discipline you with scorpions."

That King Rehoboam let the younger ones and neglected the advice of the older ones.
Was fatal for both himself, the kingship itself and Israel which became a divided kingdom after this.

How could Rehoboam really believe what the young people said and seduced him?

Unfortunately, he is not alone. There is a proverb that says that children play best.

Here the younger ones were just as naive and self-centered as the King was. Therefore, their advice and guidance fit him.

We all make wrong choices so many times, which have major and negative consequences for ourselves. And many others.
The scripture says, among other things, this:

Prov. 18. 1 The stubborn one only follows his own desires; against all wise counsel he shows his teeth.
12 Before a fall a man’s heart is haughty, but before honor is humility.

Prov. 16. 18 Before destruction is pride, and before a fall a haughty spirit.

Rehoboam was the son of Solomon who wrote this.
But it is obvious that this has not happened to him.
When he really has not listened or lived by these Bible verses.
If he had done so, not only been a hearer of the word.
But also a doer of it, then he would never have ended up in this situation.
Where Israel was divided into a North and South kingdom.

Rehoboam had to flee for his life, so serious was the situation for him!

We read:
“15 The king did not listen to the people;
Now when all Israel saw that the king did not listen to them, the people answered the king and said, What portion have we in David? We have no portion in the son of Jesse. To your tents, O Israel, every man! Now look to your own house, David! Then all Israel returned home.
Only over the children of Israel who lived in the cities of Judah, Rehoboam became king.
Then King Rehoboam sent Hadoram, who was in charge of the forced labor, but the children of Israel stoned him, so that he died, and King Rehoboam himself had to quickly get up into his chariot and flee to Jerusalem.”

He barely escaped with his life.
He had to flee to Jerusalem with his head held high.
His close associate who was in charge of the forced labor died by stoning.
A truly terrible and cruel way to die.

There are consequences when we are not on the Lord’s side in our decisions!

Among other things, the Law of Moses prescribed how one should seek God for guidance.
I wrote an article about this a few years ago.
Here it is and a little excerpt from that article:

With this breastplate were the Urim and Thummim

The breastplate was to be folded in two. Why? Because something was hidden in it, it is called the Urim and Thummim. Most likely these were precious stones, and the words mean light and perfection.

When someone had to make an important decision, but did not know exactly what God wanted them to do, they went to the high priest. He was able to tell them what God’s will was by means of the Urim and Thummim. Through them God gave his answer, and the inquirer received perfect light on what he should do.

Perhaps some are thinking, ‘I wish we had a high priest who could always show us the way!’ Well, that is exactly what we have, but fortunately not on earth where we might have to travel far to get help! Our high priest is in heaven, and through prayer we have direct communication with him.

We can approach our high priest with all our problems. He is there for us. He lives for his people. He does not leave us in doubt. We can tell him everything, and then we must calmly wait for his answer. In due time he will make it clear to us which way to go.

Here we read about this in the Old Testament:

Deuteronomy 33. 8 About Levi he said:
Your Thummim and Urim
shall be with your faithful man,
whom you tested at Massah
and with whom you contended at the waters of Meribah.

Exodus 28. 30 You shall put the Urim and Thummim in the breastplate. They shall be over Aaron's heart when he goes in before the Lord. Aaron shall bear the judgment of the children of Israel upon his heart before the Lord continually.

http://the-heavenly-blog.janchristensen.net/2015/02/no-882-gods-guidance-through-urim-and.html

When the kingdom was divided, King Rehoboam, Solomon's son, ruled the Southern Kingdom or the Kingdom of Judah. ​​Jeroboam became the first king of the northern ten-tribe kingdom of Israel after the division of the kingdom around 931 BC.

Final comment:

In many ways, one can say whether King Rehoboam, Solomon's son, was so "high in himself". Thus, he did not consider it dangerous to be so!
And had to pay a very high price for this.
There is not much to indicate that King Rehoboam, Solomon's son, learned from his mistakes. But continued as he had always done.
Not learning from his mistakes is also part of the overall picture here.
May God, through the Lord Jesus Christ, be able to teach us all not to give in to our own flesh.
But listen, learn and move forward in the Spirit's new life with Jesus,
Not least of where we have gone wrong. and lost God's Blessing!

No. 1666: King David's mistake and disgrace that is little discussed was perhaps that he did not forgive his son Absalom, who presumably perished due to David's actions!

No. 1666:

King David's mistake and disgrace that is little discussed was perhaps that he did not forgive his son Absalom, who presumably perished due to David's actions!

Picture of Absalom, who was unfortunately left to his own devices in many ways.
It went as it almost had to go.
In defeat, death and despair.

 

There are areas and aspects of King David that are much discussed.
Not least his infidelity with Bathsheba.
Also his census of the people, which displeased God in a special way, is also discussed.
These are of course important things.
But what happened internally in the family.
Not least David's actions towards his son Absalom are little discussed.
Almost not brought up in any contexts when King David and his Kingdom, life and ministry are discussed.
Here in this article, this is the main topic.

Some brief history about Absalom.

Absalom is King David's third son.

Absalom was born in Hebron. As a young man, he avenged his sister Tamar, who had been raped by his half-brother Amnon (2 Sam 13).
Absalom was the most handsome and the most cunning and ambitious son that David had. The Bible says: “In all Israel there was no one so highly praised as Absalom, who was a handsome man. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.” 2 Sam 14:25.

We enter the story after Absalom had killed his half-brother Amnon.
When Absalom fled.
We read in 2 Sam. 13. 37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son all the days. 2 Sam 3:3
38 Now Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years.
39 This kept King David from going out against Absalom; because he had consoled himself over Amnon's death.

Absalom fled to the area where his mother came from, and which he certainly knew from before.
Absalom was the son who probably resembled King David the most?
He was a tough guy like David, who enjoyed challenges.
At the same time, very sensitive like his Father.

Here Absalom had fallen out of favor with his Father.
Although in many ways he had let his half-brother get punished for having offended Absalom's sister, as you can read about in 2 Sam. 13.

Eventually Joab intervened in a masterful way and got Absalom to move back to Jerusalem. Where he belonged and where his family lived.
King David his Father took him to "grace."
It was not really any "grace." When David did not forgive Absalom as he should. But we read that the lack of grace, and the way he handled this situation, would have enormous consequences.
We can all find ourselves in situations, relationships and circumstances that are very demanding.
But then it is important to seek the Lord.
Live according to God's word, and orient yourself in a spiritual and biblical way.
We see that David behaved towards his own son in what in my eyes I would call a betrayal and a game of trickery towards his own son.
Such behavior that King David displays towards Absalom is such unworthy, simple and vulgar behavior.
Is actually what the scripture says we should not do.
We read about this in the New Testament.

Gal. 6. 7 But do not be deceived, for God is not mocked. Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.
8 He who sows to his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh. But he who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life from the Spirit.
9 Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not give up.
10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

It says here that we should do good, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.
I would add, the family.
This is exactly what David did not do to his own son.
Who should have shown how to deal with this.
King David, like Absalom, was a warrior, sensitive, and also let this dominate him.
We read the following about King David when he faced challenges.

1 Sam. 25. 21 But David had said, “In vain have I kept all that this fellow has in the wilderness, so that nothing was lost of all that belonged to him; but he has repaid me with evil for good.” 1 Sam 24:18 Ps 35:12
22 May God do evil to David’s enemies both now and later; I will not leave one of all who belong to him alive until tomorrow!”
23 When Abigail saw David, she hurried and got down from her donkey and fell on her face to the ground before David.
24 She fell at his feet and said, “My lord, the blame is on me; but please let your servant speak to you, and listen to the words of your servant.”
25 My lord, do not pay attention to this wicked man Nabal. For as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and he is full of folly. But I your servant did not see the men whom you sent, my lord.* *Nabal: fool.
26 Now therefore, my lord, as the LORD lives, and as you yourself live, the LORD has kept you from bloodguilt and from avenging yourself; now let your enemies and those who seek my lord’s harm be like Nabal.
27 And now, let this gift that your servant has brought to my lord be given to the men who are with my lord.
28 Leave your servant alone, what she has brought.has done evil! For the Lord will build my lord a sure house; for thou hast fought the Lord's battles, my lord, and evil has not been found in thee from the day that thou wast. 1 Sam 18:17 ** *warrior: 1 Sam 18:17.
29 And if any man rise up to pursue thee, and seek thy life, then the life of my lord shall be hid with the Lord thy God in the congregation of the living; but the lives of thine enemies shall he sling out as a stone from a sling.
30 And it shall come to pass, when the Lord shall have done unto thee according to all the good that he hath spoken unto thee, and shall have appointed thee prince over Israel, 2 Sam 5:2
31 Then shall this not be a stumblingblock unto thee, my lord, nor a reproach unto thee, that thou hast shed innocent blood, and hast avenged thyself, my lord: and when the Lord shall have done well unto thee, my lord, then remember thine handmaid.
32 Then David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who sent me this day to meet you!
33 And blessed be your discretion, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from coming to bloodguilt and from avenging myself!
34 But as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not hurried and come to meet me, surely not one of Nabal’s men had been left by morning.”
35 Then David accepted the gifts that she had brought him and said to her, “Go in peace; I have considered your words and granted your request.”

When we read this account.
David was about to kill Nabal and take the law into his own hands in many ways.
But because Nabal’s wife was clever, wise, and resourceful, David was spared from all of it.
Who later became David's wife when Nabal died.
While his son Absalom was in many ways like his Father, and took the law into his own hands.
It is clear that Absalom was in many ways his Father's successor.
But how did David behave towards him?
I would say very badly and blameworthy.
When he returned to Jerusalem we read the following about the relationship the two had.

2 Sam, 14. 28 Absalom lived in Jerusalem for two years but did not come before the king's eyes.

In order not to try to include all the details here.
Which could have been interesting enough, we must look at this period where King David and his son were apart.
Where Absalom developed into a man who tried to take David's throne.
It actually became a coup d'état and civil war. Where David had to flee from Absalom and he then left Jerusalem.
If we include the years that they were separated from each other until Absalom died.
Then there is probably a period of approx. 6 years or thereabouts.
In many ways, David was no Father to Absalom in those years.
When David in many ways broke all contact and connection.
Where Absalom got to meet David at least once physically during those years.
It was a great, great tragedy for both of them.

It was during that period that David did not want to have contact with Absalom that he became radicalized!

Now we cannot go into all the details in this article.
But it is clear that Absalom as we meet here at the end of his life.
Before he is killed by Joab, and dies a tragic death.
So he was in many ways a rebel, a rebel and there was little lovable about him as a person.
In my eyes, without that it is clear and straightforward.
Then Absalom was let down, by Joab and others.
But above all, by his own Father who did not in any way try to take him under his "wings!"
Where he, King David. Not once visited, or let Absalom be in his vicinity.
As we know, the Jews celebrate more than any other holidays.
Be it the Sabbath and other holidays.
Imagine, David could have invited his own son to these holidays.
Not once did he do so.
In every way, there was a denial of responsibility, irreconcilability and everything that should not be in a Father Son relationship.
David had to have a feeling and desire for reconciliation?
But why didn't he take the incentive or try to meet his Son Absalom?
Absalom walked like David, looked like David.
Was a tough guy like David, a strong and distinctly emotional person like his Father.
He was really as similar to him as possible.
However, Father David failed to do anything about the situation when Absalom was dead.
By then it was too late.
We read about what King David trumpeted and shouted when Absalom was dead.

2 Sam. 18. 28 And Ahimaaz called to the king, Peace! And he fell on his face to the ground before the king, and said, Blessed be the LORD thy God, which hath delivered into thine hand the men that lifted up their hand against my lord the king.
29 And the king said, Is it well with the young man, with Absalom? Ahimaaz answered, I saw a great tumult, when Joab sent the king's servant, and me thy servant, but I knew not what it was. 2 Sam 18:21-23 ** *servant: 2 Sam 18:21.Note on departure: 2 Sam 18:23.
30 And the king said, Turn aside, and stand there. So he turned aside, and stood there.
31 And immediately the Cushite came, and said, Let my lord the king hear good tidings, how that the LORD hath avenged thee this day of all them that rose up against thee.
32 The king asked the Cushite, “Is the young man Absalom safe?” The Cushite answered, “May the enemies of my lord the king and all who come to him be safe.”

 is against you and seeks to harm you, as that young man did!
33 Then the king was deeply moved. He went up to the upper room above the gate and wept, and as he went, he said, “My son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! Would that I had died instead of you! Absalom, my son, my son!” 2 Sam 19:4

2 Sam. 19. 1 And some people came and told Joab, “The king weeps and mourns for Absalom.” 2 Sam 18:33
2 And the victory was turned into mourning that day for all the people, for the people heard that day that the king was grieved for his son.
3 And the people stole into the city that day, as men steal into their houses when they are ashamed because they flee in battle.
4 But the king had covered his face and cried with a loud voice, “My son Absalom! Absalom, my son, my son!” 2 Sam 18:33
5 Then Joab went into the king's house and said, "Today you have disgraced all your men, who have saved your life today, and the lives of your sons and daughters, your wives and concubines.
6 You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have shown today that you have neither commanders nor servants. Now I know that if Absalom had lived and all of us had died today, then it would have been right in your eyes."

It is painful, strong and painful to read David's desperate cry and that he wished he had died instead of his son Absalom!

Listen to David's cry, which is almost like a supplication.

My son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! Oh that I had died instead of you! Absalom, my son, my son!

My son Absalom! Absalom, my son, my son!

David wept, covered himself and cried out in despair.
It must have been downright terrible, traumatizing and directly brought David to the breaking point of what he could endure and handle as a human being.
This is what happens when you really let others down.
Here he let Absalom be left to himself.
Then he became a rebel and a rebel.
Not only that, he had relations with David's concubines in front of all Israel. Where he actually raped his Father's concubines for "open scene."
Right up on the roof. We read about the incident here;

2 Sam. 16.20 Then Absalom said to Ahithophel: Now give advice and tell us what we should do!
21 Ahithophel answered: Go in to your father's concubines, whom he left to keep the house! Then all Israel will hear that you have made yourself abhorrent to your father, and all who are with you will be encouraged. 2 Sam 15,16
22 Then they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and Absalom went in to his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel. 2 Sam 12,11-12

This in many ways free sex life was part of his rebellion and way of acting that was to that extent simply evil, rebellious and demonic.
This person Absalom had become, without his Father David having in any way tried and shown willingness to stop his development.
That David wanted to die in his place, is difficult to see as a real desire?
He had failed his own son when he was alive.
Then wanting to die in his place must be interpreted and believed that David had then realized that he had completely acted directly evil and unwisely towards Absalom.

After this incident, David was a reduced man.
He probably did not go out to more wars, and lived more secluded.
There was no doubt, that here David really failed.
In that we know our own shortcomings and here I would say almost stupidity not to try to reconcile.
So unfortunately that is how we all act in many situations, relationships and settings.
Therefore the scripture says:
Prov. 24. 10. If you show yourself discouraged in the day of trouble, your strength is small.

Isn't this true only of David?
Isn't that how we all are, often?
David failed. He failed himself, his family and his people.
But above all, he failed God and Absalom.
David says:

Psalm 51. 16 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, the God of my salvation! Then my tongue will rejoice in your righteousness.

This verse fits so well here.
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness.
Of course, it is very hard to take.
But there were probably some colossal battles and accusations that David now had.
Absalom of course chose himself to become who he became.
But for him to become what he became, it was undoubtedly being let down by several.
But above all, his own Father.
Which made this situation and the circumstances as tragic as they became.
Here we have a lot to learn, all of us from David.
It is not least to do good, always.
In some settings, doing good is seen as being disobedient to the community.
Was there possibly something behind it all?
Showing Absalom care and love after his actions.
Wasn't seen as something good, but it would have been.
Here one should let mercy go for justice. Not least when one reads that Absalom was given the opportunity to return to Jerusalem. Then it is important to look after that person when one before he invited him. If one has said a, then one must say b.

In many ways, it was David's morality that made him not contact his son. When he had fallen from grace with the murder he committed of his own half-brother who had raped his sister.
But David let him return to Jerusalem.
But was not so loving and devoted above or Absalom as a Father was supposed to be after he died. Then it was too late to show love.

I also believe that David as a leader suffered from having few or no close friends.
It seems that when you study David, he got many followers.
But friends are needed.
Solomon writes a lot about this in the book of Proverbs.
Here is an example.

Prov. 17. 17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for trouble.
18. 24 A man who has many friends will fall into trouble; but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Joab, we read about, was probably a little worried and did not stand up for Absalom. Except to get him back to Jerusalem.. That was how many of David's warriors and men were.
Was there no one who could correct David?
Make suggestions, or something like that?
That he should not just let Absalom come to Jerusalem.
But let him back into the family, and don't let him live a secluded life where he only got sustenance. Money and material values ​​can never replace family, friends and the contact that we all need with having someone who stands up for you.

The story with and around Absalom has a lot to say to us today.
Where we see that isolating someone is the last kind of way to treat people.
We are made for community. Therefore, what David did to Absalom is a form of tyranny and really being unloving towards his own son.

What King David should have done to Absalom was actually a simple and small matter!

We often think that our biggest mistakes and the so-called big things.
But very often it is "small" decisions that have "big" consequences.
Here David should have just gotten Absalom into the "warmth".
Don't let him be out in the "cold" and isolated from David, the family and would have clearly needed a greater community.
Of course, Absalom had his own choice, and it is obvious that those choices were anything but good.
What could have possibly helped him, and broken those choices.
Not least this about being taken into the "heat!"
That did not happen, and he became a rebel and caused himself and all of Israel enormous pain and tragedy.
David acted completely wrong, and the consequences were civil war.

King David as an older man

 

Final comment:

This last battle here that resulted in an actual rebellion and civil war.
David did not stand up for his own son.
Then it went as it often does, it ends in disaster.
I am aware that it may not go as badly as it did with David.
But the point is there, we must stand up for each other.
I am aware that everyone is responsible for their own lives.
But here Father and the shepherd failed. But if Father and Mother fail.
Then one must seek the Lord on their own.
It does not look like Absalom did.
Therefore he had nothing to oppose when the enemy laid his cunning and evil plans against Absalom.

There are many circumstances and much to learn here. Where we must surely realize that David acted far too late. Perhaps he overlooked his own feelings and his own conscience?
Much speaks for it, as he screamed and carried himself when Absalom died and had been killed by one of King David's most trusted men, Joab.

2 Sam. 18. 8 And the battle spread throughout the whole country around, and the forest devoured more of the people that day than the sword devoured.
9 Absalom came straight to meet David's men; he was riding on his mule, and the mule went under the thick branches of a great terebinth, so that his head caught hold of the terebinth, and he was suspended between heaven and earth; for the mule that he was riding on ran away. 2 Sam 14:26
10 And a man saw it, and told Joab, and said, I saw Absalom hanging there in the oak.
11 And Joab said unto the man that told him, Why sawest thou him not then, and smote him to the ground? then I would have given thee ten shekels of silver, and a girdle.
12 And the man said unto Joab, If I should receive a thousand shekels of silver in mine hand, I would not put forth mine hand against the king's son: for we all heard the king charge thee and Abishai and Ittai, saying, Beware of the young man, and of Absalom, whosoever he be of you.
13 But if I had dealt deceitfully, and taken his life, there was nothing hid from the king, and thou wouldest have escaped.
14 And Joab said, I cannot stand here with thee, to be carried away. And he took three spears in his hand and thrust them into Absalom's heart, while he still hung alive in the midst of the terebinth.
15 Then ten young men - Joab's comrades-in-arms - stood around and struck Absalom and killed him.
16 Then Joab sounded the trumpet, and the people stopped pursuing Israel; for Joab kept the people back.

Related links: 

http://the-heavenly-blog.janchristensen.net/2012/12/nr-425-king-david-had-choice-to-resist.html
http://the-heavenly-blog.janchristensen.net/2015/11/no-1077-king-davids-life-and-work.html
http://the-heavenly-blog.janchristensen.net/2018/05/no-1668-israel-as-independent-nation-in.html
http://the-heavenly-blog.janchristensen.net/2022/12/no-1599-king-david-beat-big-enemies-in.html
http://the-heavenly-blog.janchristensen.net/2020/02/no-1504-trials-and-difficulties-as.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnLR3Ii8Ycc&t=1040s

No. 1665: Now February 28, 2026 it is ½ year since my beloved and wonderful wife Berit Nyland Christensen died after 38 years of marriage with me, at the age of 66!

No. 1665:

Now February 28, 2026 it is ½ year since my beloved and wonderful wife Berit Nyland Christensen died after 38 years of marriage with me, at the age of 66!

Berit leaves behind an enormous void and loss.
Where I as a widower remain.
Besides 3 children and 9 grandchildren who have all lost a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.
Besides siblings, nieces and nephews and other family.
Picture of Berit, me and our 3 children Benedikte, Sara and Benjamin when they were minors. What a wonderful time this was, now this is the story.

 

 
http://the-heavenly-blog.janchristensen.net/2025/09/no-1651-memorial-to-my-beloved-and.html

It has now been ½ year since Berit died and went to Paradise with Jesus!

It is not that I or anyone else really knows what awaits us after death.
But the scripture is clear on one thing, that we as believers do not die.
We continue our lives, but then in anticipation of the resurrection where we will receive a glorious body.
https://blog.janchristensen.net/2025/11/nr-3518-berit-min-kone-er-dd-er-na-i.html

I think that Berit and I as a married couple had it like Paradise on Earth!

We had three children together. Or to put it more correctly, we have three children together and nine grandchildren.
Where we should have had far more children in hindsight.
Having many children is such a great blessing that I would encourage everyone to have it, especially as believers.

As for the life between Berit and me, we both lived for each other.
Where we lived according to God's word, that was our common desire.
The scripture says, among other things:

Rom. 12. 10 Love one another fervently as brothers and sisters, esteeming others higher than yourselves.
Arne Jordly's translation:
Rom. 12. 10 Show loving closeness to each other, and be foremost in showing each other respect.

This is how Berit and I lived for thirty-eight years!
Where we put the other above ourselves.
Showed each other respect, and sometimes we didn't.
Then we were able to ask for forgiveness, and in that way we resolved any tangles and disagreements.
What a wonderful life together and marriage we had.

It is very demanding then to be alone after such a rich and wonderful life together for almost forty years!

It is true that nothing on this earth lasts forever, not even a marriage.
I realize that I was not prepared in any way for Berit to die so early.
Was I as unprepared for this as it is possible to be?
That was the last thought I had, that Berit would die so early.
God has promised us humans the following:

Psalm 90. 10 The days of our lives are seventy years, and if there is great strength, eighty years, and their glory is trouble and vanity; for we are quickly driven forward, and we fly away.

Berit did not reach the "minimum age", and I had imagined that we would grow old together.

Why this did not happen, I have no real answer to except that there will be assumptions and speculations.
It is clear that there were things that happened beforehand that I see in retrospect as a "God's guidance" that I was not involved in?

I will give a concrete example of this. Which I am very embarrassed and ashamed that I did not understand more then and there.

The summer of 2022, a year before Berit was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
Then she broke her foot, or rather her ankle.
Was taken by ambulance to A Hus in Lørenskog where she died three years later of pancreatic cancer.

We have had a man who himself had experienced something similar.
Where he had kidney cancer which had been fatal according to what the doctors told him.
But it was discovered by "coincidence" when he got a kidney stone.
When they were going to operate on it, they found the cancer and removed the kidney and the cancer.
In this way they saved his life, and he is still alive today.

I thought about that incident, and asked Berit if they had scanned her whole body.
When she was lying in the drum.
She said yes, and I settled down with this.
Of course I should have talked to the doctors, and had them scan not just her foot.
But her whole body.
I should and should have shown this, when her brother Knut Harald died at only forty years old from cancer. He died of bone marrow cancer. Berit also died of cancer, so I knew this was in the family. It's unbelievable that I was so focused on the broken ankle.
Not being able to see this in a larger context.
In retrospect, I think this was a "golden" opportunity for Berit for the doctors to catch the pancreatic cancer a year before it was discovered.
Then her prognosis might have been completely different?
Of course, I don't know this 100%.
As I see it today, I was unable to take the signal that the broken ankle was an opportunity to scan Berit, my beloved wife, a year before the disease was discovered.
Then it was really too late for her to have a so-called "successful" operation in August 2023. And lived exactly 2 years after the operation.
If she had had the operation 1 year earlier, isn't it impossible that she would have been alive today?
In the operation in 2023, they took 8 out of 15 lymph nodes that were infected by the cancer.
It "lasted" for 2 years before she was "eaten up" by cancer.

There were also other things that I regret – in retrospect!

There were times when Berit and I did not take active steps towards our own health.
Where exercise and sitting were too much.
And food intake was excessive.
Of course, it is impossible to know such things if this had had a healing effect on Berit.
In retrospect, it is not good to not take care of your own health.
The scripture actually speaks a lot about this.
Among other things here:

Prov. 23. 1 When you sit at table with a prince, then you should pay close attention to who is before you,
2 and put a knife to your throat, if you are greedy.
3 Do not desire his fine dishes, for it is food that can deceive!

This is written about sitting at table with princes.
But it applies to life in general, that one should not overeat.
Where both Berit and I were overweight for a time.
Among other things, this is not good for health. And Berit got cancer in the stomach region.
Where pancreatic cancer is not unlikely, could obesity and too much sitting have influenced this?
Of course, I will never get the answer here on earth, but there is no doubt in my mind that there are reasons that could be the cause.
Where both Berit and I did not do everything right and proper.

The fact is that Berit is dead, and I have become a widower!

Life is very vulnerable, fragile and unpredictable.
There are parts of our lives that I have taken for granted.
And not thought and acted right and proper.
Then it is good to know that God does not love me or anyone because we succeed and get everything done.
On the contrary, it is because we do not make it so that God loves and wants to help us.

God's word says this many, many places. And this must be allowed into your heart when you need it, as I do here and now.

1 John 4:8 Whoever loves is of God, for God is love.

9 In this God showed his love for us: He sent his only Son into the world so that we might have life through him.

10 This is love — not that we loved God, but that God loved us and sent his Son as the propitiation for our sins.
In retrospect, I see that there were areas in our lives and marriage that were not perfect.
As far as I know, Berit and I did not have anything unresolved with each other.
But that does not mean that there are areas that we could have worked on and talked about.
In the end, I see myself as just as much a nurse as a husband.
Where I fell short, I know that I did everything 100% as best I could then and there.
But still, one feels one's own shortcomings and that there are things that should have been done better and differently.
Here it is good to know that God's perfect grace and forgiveness are what covers a multitude of sins.

When we moved back to Oslo in 2005 it was to "reopen" Smyrna Oslo.

http://the-heavenly-blog.janchristensen.net/2022/05/no-1586-when-we-started-smyrna.html

We started Smyrna Oslo in 1991, where we had some progress.
But we chose to move to Karmøy in 1993 after we had actually had some and good progress with Smyrna Oslo.
It was probably not until 2008-9 that we began having our own meetings after a time in Betaina Lillestrøm as the Pentecostal church here in Lillestrøm.
Now Filadelfia Oslo is running that church.
We never managed to achieve what we achieved in the early 1990s.
In many ways, Smyrna Oslo is not a church today.
But I run the website https://www.janchristensen.net/
And various blogs, of which the Himmelske blog is the most read and well-known.

Even though Berit is now dead, and Smyrna Oslo has never had its renaissance and "resurrected"

I experience that my entire life and ministry as of today as in many ways a failure.
Where everything that Berit and I invested in has not led to progress.
Then I experience that the very message and the preaching/teaching that Berit and I have promoted.
Which God after all is with and behind.
Berit is now in Paradise, and saved for time and eternity.
https://blog.janchristensen.net/2025/11/nr-3518-berit-min-kone-er-dd-er-na-i.html

God calculates differently than we do!

There is a lot that I have been through together with Berit.
I carried her on "eagle wings" as I did with the children.
Especially when they were growing up.
Berit I did everything in my power throughout our life together.
Berit did everything in her power throughout our life together for me and the children.
Later the grandchildren. Not only them, everyone she came into contact with.
What a warm-hearted, warm and good person Berit was.
At the same time, Berit had a wonderful service for Jesus where her manner was Jesus from morning, noon and night.
She loved to testify about Jesus and the gospel.


Where I got to experience as much love, closeness and encouragement as it is practically possible to get from a woman and spouse.
So happy and grateful for the 38 wonderful and magnificent years we had together here on earth.
Could we have had a better life and marriage.
Berit told me right before she died that she could never have had a better husband than me.
I can and will say the same about her.
What more can I say?
We will meet again soon, at Jesus' house.
If I live until Jesus comes again.
Or yes If I die before Jesus comes, then my life and ministry are in the arms of God and Jesus and He has full and complete control, power and dominion!
http://the-heavenly-blog.janchristensen.net/2025/11/no-1657-what-now-jan-kare-what-is-way.html

I am not ashamed of Smyrna Oslo and the message I have preached!

I have tried to preach the whole of God's counsel for salvation.
Where I have held nothing back.
Even though today it is painful to think about and have experienced that Berit was not healed.
It is experienced as a great personal defeat.
Where were you God?
You who are my Father and Berit's Father.
http://the-heavenly-blog.janchristensen.net/2025/09/no-1651-memorial-to-my-beloved-and.html

Final comment:

This is in many ways how I feel about it all, now.
Everything is in many ways destroyed, failed and I am down after Berit died.
I have become a widower, the Smyrna congregation has become nothing.
I am persecuted by various agencies and have been in recent years.
It does not look exactly bright and bright.
Rather dark, demanding and I am depressed and literally alone here in Oslo as I have no family left here.
As the children have chosen to move far away.
The Smyrna congregation is only on "paper" as we do not have regular gatherings or meet.
What I, Berit and the family came to Oslo from Karmøy in 2005.
Has in many ways gone exactly the opposite.
Berit is dead, and at home with Jesus.
The children live far from Oslo and me.
Western Norway, Trøndelag and England are far from Oslo.
It may seem quite as difficult as when Jesus died.
Wasn't that exactly the best thing?
Seen from the outside. But from this perspective, the "defeat" on Calvary.
Then it was the greatest victory.
For me, it is the "greatest" defeat of my life that Berit died.
But even from this perspective, I believe that God has a way.
And he has full and complete control.

Lewi Pethrus writes in the book seierstider - brettningstedier in the chapter seierstro - vorser gleichstorn the following: The victory on Calvary is the victory above all others!

"The great crowds began to desert him when he began to speak of his suffering and death. Even the twelve he had chosen as his apostles deserted him and fled. Before that happened, one of them had succeeded in selling him to his enemies for thirty pieces of silver. The most trusted of them all denied his discipleship three times during his public trial.

He swore that he did not know him. Humanly speaking, the beginning of Christianity ended with its founder hanging alone and abandoned by God and man on a cross between two thieves.
According to Jesus’ enemies, this was the collapse of Christianity at its very beginning, and many of the believing Jews saw in this his defeat forever.

They did not see the plan of God’s salvation that lay behind these seemingly discouraging external events. But in what seemed to be the greatest defeat, lay the greatest victory for God’s cause that has ever been won.

The victory of Calvary is the victory above all others!

The Scripture says that all things work for good to those whom He has called.
Rom. 8. 28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.
http://the-heavenly-blog.janchristensen.net/2026/01/no-1661-becoming-widower-like-me-after.html